#NoFear

How are your fears getting in the way of your success?

Fear is our greatest enemy. That wasn’t always the case: For nearly all of human history, our fears kept us safe, ensuring we were on the watch for enemies and danger. The world we live in today, however, is hardly the same as it was 200 years ago, let alone 200,000 years ago, when we began to develop and evolve as a species. We are still wired to protect ourselves, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Yet when we let our fears influence our thoughts, feelings and behaviors, we often wind up suffering more than we would if we had faced those fears.

Neuroscience may help explain why. When we have a fear-based reaction to something, we rely on our amygdala to help us decide how to respond. (The amygdala is a part of the brain that is common across species and that was developed earlier in our evolutionary history.) That response is reactive. In contrast, when we operate in a state of calm, we tend to use our pre-frontal cortex, the more evolved part of the human brain responsible for complex, “executive” thinking. It helps us more clearly assess situations and determine a course of action. In other words, when we are afraid, we make reactive decisions that are, as a result, not as thoughtful or strategic as they could be if we had made those decisions proactively, relying more on the pre-frontal cortex than the amygdala.

The good news: You don’t have to be afraid!

Robert Greene, author of “The 48 Laws of Power,” teamed up with rapper Curtis Jackson, a.k.a. 50 Cent, to write “The 50th Law,” a book dedicated to exploring how fear is used to give power to some and take it from others. Greene and Jackson argue that fearlessness is a key source of power, using examples from Jackson’s life and career to illustrate the story of his own success. As Greene writes in the foreword, the gist of the book is this: “your fears are a kind of prison that confines you within a limited range of action. The less you fear, the more power you will have and the more fully you will live.” The fearless principles that they have developed include ideas like intense realism, or seeing things as they really are, not as you want them to be; self-reliance, removing your dependence on others for power and validation; and self-belief, building up your self-worth from within.

There are many different ways to build our sense of fearlessness. Simon Sinek — whose presentation, ”Why good leaders make you feel safe,” is one of the 10 most-watched TEDx talks— suggests we need a place where we can feel safe. His thesis is that the environment that we operate in determines how we interact. Environments filled with trust, cooperation and mutual respect encourage supportive behaviors.

As he notes, in safe places, we are more inclined to think: “I would do it for her because she would do it for me.” In contrast, in environments where power and abuse thrive and the focus is on personal over collaborative gain, we are driven by fear and rarely have the same level of success. In those environments, when we are in positions of power we tend to think: “If I do this for her, what will she do for me?” or “If I don’t do this, what could happen to me?” You can see how fear can sometimes work to the advantage of the powerful and to the detriment of the powerless. It’s no wonder it is popular means of control. The problem is it’s a strain on productivity and performance.

Taking the idea of safety even further, University of Houston professor Brené Brown has become famous for her work on shame and guilt, both of which have direct ties to our fears. My takeaway from a variety of her works is this: Shame, guilt and fear are weapons we use to make each other feel bad in order to make ourselves feel better. Think about that. It’s a very hurtful way to interact. Instead, being vulnerable, honest and transparent about our experiences and the impact they have had on us helps us move forward more confidently and, in her words, more daringly. In other words, recognize when someone is using shame or guilt to control you and instead face your fears, allowing yourself to be happier and more confident. It worked for me.  

So, as you head out on the scariest night of the year, I challenge you to ask yourself: What are you afraid of and how is that holding you back?

Happy Halloween!